out plan or purpose.

A few steps to her left was the top of the fire escape. Peering through sunblinded streaming eyes she stumbled out onto its precarious metal grating. A blast of searing, dustladen air surged up from the asphalt parking lot far below and whipped her thin black dress and grey hair into frenzied agitation. Dimly she saw the tops of the cars in the lot, like row upon row of small glossy beetles. With a tight grip upon the blistering railing she leaned out over the chasm. For a moment something in the depth and spaciousness of the setting, or perhaps something in the hazard of her position, took her out of her pain and her memories. She felt at ease. Then her mind broke. Strange whistling noises came from her throat. She began to babble hoarsely. "Ah . I can't face it. everyone will despise me . . . I can't bear it. Queer .. queer? .. she called me that... Maxene . you called me that. . . what is it, Maxene? Oh, God . . . I'm cold. . . cold." Her teeth were chattering terribly. "My whole life here... .. twenty years . . . driven out! Oh, the cars how far down it is! Maxene how could you do it... Maxene Her hands relaxed their grip, her body began to crumple. "Maxene Maxene . . . Maxene, I loved you I loved you, Maxene She went limp, a great darkness blotted the sight from her eyes. She knew no more except that she was spinning, spinning into a black abyss of nothingness that spread to swallow up her soul.

15.

.

Sirens shrieked and wailed as police cars and ambulances raced into the lot and edged toward the little dark blob of humanity sprawled face down between the rows of automobiles. A button earring had rolled some inches from the body. One shoe lay upside down several feet away, while an open handbag scattered its contents far and wide in an opposite direction. An officer adjusted the ripped clothing into some semblance of decorum. Another gingerly lifted the head by its hair, but could recognize nothing in the flattened, battered face. He searched for identification among the contents of the handbag, as ambulance attendants hurried forward with blankets and stretcher.

Maxene was returning from a luncheon date with a tall burly fellow who worked in the same parking lot. Seeing the disturbance, the man ran into the alley toward the lot, leaving Maxene far behind. Teetering gracefully on her high heels, she followed after him over the rough paving stones. A silver fox rested over her smooth shoulders in spite of the July heat. The fur matched the silver-grey of her dress and turned her auburn hair into a startling red. She elbowed her way rudely through the throng. Almost at its grim center, a woman just ahead whom she knew slightly let out a fearful scream. The

"Oh, Christ . . . it's Elsa! . . . it's Elsa! . . . oh, Jesus, Jesus .. woman began crossing herself repeatedly and a friend led her away, staggering and moaning. Though somewhat prepared by this, Maxene nevertheless started with shock as she looked down at the black, still figure almost at her feet. It was Elsa, all right, there was no doubt.

Desperately Maxene fought to control herself. A small flame of remorse and compassion began to suffuse her, but she stifled it with an expertness born of long practice. Her eyes hardened and her lower lip shot out in a grotesque snarl of disdain. At that moment, even Elsa would have called her ugly. They were lifting the body onto the stretcher. Gobbets of dark thick blood were oozing from the nose and mouth. Almost accusingly, the blood began spreading toward Maxene's satin pumps. She recoiled daintily from this horror and began pushing her way back toward the street.

On the curb before the State Building she rested against a lamp-post, her breath short, her face set in tense, fierce lines. Lesbian. . . pervert . . . woman-lover . . . good riddance, good riddance. She hissed the words over and over again to herself. Slowly she became composed, and broke into a low, hard laugh. Then, remembering her noonday ritual, she undid the broad flap of her handbag and surveyed herself in its mirror. Her eyes narrowed as she

33